doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I cut my penus on the lid.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
