He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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