420 ftw
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I will be naked everywhere
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
