I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
