You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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