And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize