there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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