She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize