I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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