i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
