talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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