Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
