how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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