You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
