On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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