I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
