All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
