and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
