Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
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just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
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all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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