If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
