AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
