So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
