just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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