Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
