She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
jump out the window naked night went bad
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