You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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