My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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