I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Operation Purity has been aborted
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
