Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I party with great urgency now.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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