I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize