And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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