worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
