dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
