i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
