Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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