yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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