just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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