I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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