I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just invented taco cereal.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
