okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize