I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
