just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize