Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i think my mom watched the whole time
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
