Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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