Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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