yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Be still, my beating vagina.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
