So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
