I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
