community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
