Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
