he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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