I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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