if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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