I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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