adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
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It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
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Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
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